I can only ask forgiveness

I continue to hurt those that I love. I continue to be ill equipped for the present task. I continue to fail when I want nothing more than to succeed. Why? Because, it is meant to be hard for a reason. If I were to go through my life wanting everything that is technically or emotionally easy then I would achieve little. It is easy to hate, to take, to criticize, to feel sorry for myself and to hold grudges. It is much harder to forgive, love, support, forgive, be positive in the face of difficulty and to give freely. There is a reason for this difference in required effort. The more difficult a task to complete the more rewarding its completion. Think about it, where will I be in ten years if I only practice easy things versus what can I become if I choose the more difficult path and attempt to rise above the basic desires. This is not about becoming a monk and depriving myself of all reward because it is the only way to reach enlightenment. How many in any group have truly ever reached enlightenment. Right only a handful make it there in this lifetime. What I am talking about takes commitment, stretching, understanding the benefits of sacrifice and yes enduring pain. But the rewards are tremendous, beyond anything promised by successes on Wall Street or the glory of Hollywood. These are the true treasures of life and I want them more than I want immediate gratification, personal wealth or fame. I am sorry for my imperfection but proud of my quest to become perfect.
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