Learning through pain

A good friend of mine said that she loved me dearly, BUT when faced with the hard or easy way of learning something I would always choose the most painful path. She wished that sometimes I would just listen and learn when good advice is given by people I trust and take the less-painful path to learning. For a long time I needed the drama, because it brought with it the subsequent attention that someone in need gets from loved ones interested in saving you from the pain. She was right about choosing the hard way of learning what I refer to as the, "you gotta burn to learn" method. I am over that. It is actually very comforting to know that I have the respect for and desire to listen/learn from my friends. Having people around you that care enough to tell you what you need to hear in a constructive way is a wonderful thing. And even better is the ability to take what they give you and incorporate in your life. After all two heads are better than one and the experiences of many different people makes for an extremely robust, highly effective life.

I however have come to realize that pain that comes not of your choosing is sent as impetus for learning. My next bit of learning is to resist the temptation to eradicate the physical or emotional pain through any means possible. For example, filling your life with the wrong kind of people or meaningless sex to stem the pain of lonliness or love fulfillment. Or taking alcohol & drugs to staunch the emotional pain of feeling out of place or to escape the realistic pressures of everyday life. The pain is there for a reason. I have come to realize that the pain will not kill me, but the subsequent attempts to numb it or not feel it for a while will lead to my demise. I am not saying that I like feeling pain, but sometimes you have to let yourself feel the pain to get over a painful event. Or the pain is an indication from your body that there is a larger issue that you should be dealing with. If you numb or mask that pain then you will potentially suffer more drastic damage associated with not dealing with the root cause of the pain such as an illness. I am currently dealing with the most drastic physical pain of my life and am trying desperately to allow it to run its course rather than medicate myself into stupidity or escape the messages it is sending me about my health. After all the pain of becoming a man with little or no self control doing things that I do not morally or characteristically adhere to would be the greatest pain of all. So to my beloved friend I would have to say that sometimes the most painful path is the right choice.
Out